Starting restarting

Starting and restarting. I don’t think it will end but I am hoping that it will calm down a bit and decrease in it’s tumultuousness. It’s exhausting and stressful and I don’t know how I manage to keep it somewhat together. But my decision is made. When I left San Francisco, I knew that it was the right choice. When I was applying for school it still felt right. Maybe just the process of embarking on something new felt right. When I went to orientation, it felt so wrong and it continued to feel wrong. When I was interning, it also felt wrong. So does that leave me back at square one? Not quite because I feel certain in my decision to quit. Although I don’t have a direction yet, a still feel like I’m on some sort of directed path. Not quite as lost as I felt towards the end of my time in San Francisco… That means a lot. I’m taking one step forward, a quarter step back… I suppose that is not sooo bad.

breaking up

i don’t think this master’s program is a right fit for me. i like skilled trades. academic is fun, but it’s not fitting for my personality. if my goal is get a job that i actually like doing, then sitting in an office environment dealing with people is not looking good. One, i dont like sitting. Two, i don’t like having to deal with people. Therefore, this sounds like working as an urban planner and my personality will not be a love match afterall. It may be a bit hasty for me to decide right now, but I feel the break up coming.